My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
