it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
