Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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