I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
