She went from zero to smokin in five shots
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
