It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
