Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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