Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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