How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
