I love black thongs
Someone shit on the floor
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
