So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
