hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
