why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
