If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
