why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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