Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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