Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
