Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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