my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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