He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
