saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
