He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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