Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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