I think I died a long time ago.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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