no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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