I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
