just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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