Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
