Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
