Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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