I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
how does that bad decision feel?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
