I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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