you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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