I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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