I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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