I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize