You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
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