You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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