His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
