FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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