Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
