Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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