That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
tell me about the fingering
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