I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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