Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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