Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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