At least make sure they are 18
Why
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
