get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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