How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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