WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
