Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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