Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
