If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
