haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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