I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
