This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
