Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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