Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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