what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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