i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
